An angel in Las Vegas? Our story - Part 2

April, 1997
As we sat on the plane, my hubby could tell my mind was elsewhere. So could my mom. She seemed to look at me across the aisle with such sadness in her eyes. Not sadness from the results per say, but sadness for me, that I was having to embark on this new journey. Even my dad tried to cheer me up... they all said not to worry over it right now. Enjoy the vacation and once home, we would revisit the topic again.

I tried. I tried really hard. I didn't want to ruin the trip. I didn't mention it once we got there... I spent the first day equipped with a fake smile and a dragging spirit. To me, my life had changed completely and now all of a sudden, my focus went from being a new wife and having a good time to watching every child that passed me by, wondering if I would ever get to be a mom. I slept well that night (even with the snoring going on in the room) and I got up the next morning rested and ready to try not to think on it anymore.

We had a normal morning in Vegas. Up early, dressed, off to the breakfast buffet, and then on to the slots. It was a relatively early morning for us though. We were up by 7a and at the slots at Treasure Island by 8:30a. I remember that it was like a ghost town in that place - not a soul in sight. A few people scattered around, but nothing like the night life in Vegas. I moved from slot to slot trying to find the one I wanted to play. My mother had acquired a nasty sinus infection overnight and was at the hotel resting. My father and my husband had left me for a more interesting section of the casino and I was left alone to ponder my fate, once again. "I am not going to think about it", I thought. Let's play some video poker... that will make me feel better.

I wondered around and finally sat down at a machine that was right in the main aisle way of the hotel. I put in 2 quarters and got nothing. "That figures", I thought. That was just the way my life was going. I grabbed another 2 quarters out of the bucket and threw them in, not even looking at the machine. I played the hand and glanced up looking for my hubby when the entire machine started to light up and the siren started to scream at me. You would have thought that I had won the lottery. I looked down and it was flashing 800 quarters. "800 quarters... how much is that?" My brain wasn't working. I looked around for my husband and father, proud of what I had just done. I might not be able to conceive, but I can play some video poker!! I guess they heard the noise because they came around the corner to see me waving them over. Of course, they both sat down next to me to play their own machines... never mind my jackpot of $200 - they wanted one of their own.

In the midst of waiting for the machine to pay me my due, it ran out of quarters. Great - just what I needed. Now I had to wait for someone to come over and pay me the rest. I turned on the light signaling that I needed help, but no one came. Like I said - it was dead in that place. Not an attendant in sight. I sat and sat as the two men in my life played on either side on me (with no luck I might add). Then, a few minutes later, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder...

I turned expecting an attendant and instead saw a middle-aged man with a walker. He had dark hair, pale skin, was dressed in slacks and a polyester shirt, and had a sweet softness to his eyes. He smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Yes sir?", I asked, not sure who he was or what he wanted with me.
"I saw what happened" he said as he smiled.
"Um, yes sir.", I said.
We stared at each other for a while and after he said nothing else, I turned around and stared at my machine. I felt weird. Not scared really, just weird. I could sense my hubby looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Then, I felt his soft tap once again. I turned around...

"Yes, sir?", I said again.
"Are you two married?", He said as he pointed to my husband and myself.
"Um, yes sir, we are.", I said with a smile. He just stared at me with those soft eyes and that sweet grin. Once again, I turned around, not knowing what to say or what to do. This time, I could see my dad eyeing him as only a dad could do. I wanted to say "it's OK", but didn't. I was frozen.

Once again, I felt the tapping of his fingers and I turned around once more.
"Do you have children?", he asked.
Now, what exactly is this all about?! Hadn't I tortured myself enough in the last few days and now that I was trying not to focus on the news we received back home, here is some stranger bringing it all up again! I felt my stomach sink. I looked at him and annoyingly said, "No, we do not."

I turned around to look at the machine and felt him come closer. My heart was racing. I was mad and scared and mystified all at the same time. He gently touched my shoulder, leaned down by my ear and simply said...

"Keep trying.".

I couldn't move. I couldn't look at him or ask him why he said that. I couldn't look at my husband or my father. I couldn't do anything except focus on the words that had he just uttered... "keep trying". I felt a rush go through my body. I had goose bumps and the hair on my arms stood up on end. I can't explain it really, I just know that at that moment, I knew I was not in the presence of an ordinary old man. I finally turned to see him walking away. I looked at my husband and he said, "I know what you are thinking...". "Do you?", I thought. I turned and looked again... the man was gone. Not a trace of him.

My dad was speechless. My husband just smiled and shook his head. I sat there not sure what to do. Could this have been a messenger of some sort? Could God, the One that I worshipped only on Sundays and hadn't yet invited into my home, my marriage, nor fully into my heart, be giving me a message of hope?

I left my winnings and both guys there at the machines and ran up to my mom's room. I told her the story as quickly as I could. "What do you think?", I said.

"I think you just met your angel.", she said.

I think she was right. A bit of hope brewed within my soul. Could there be a family in my future after all?

We flew back a few days later and I arrived on Monday to work. While looking at the calendar I noticed that I was a day late on my period, but that was nothing new. I had been so irregular all of my life, that being late a few days - even a few weeks late at times wasn't a big deal. I always did a pregnancy test (I guess it was wishful thinking) and had yet to see that "plus" sign that I so desperately desired. I remembered that before we left for our trip, I had placed the results from our tests on the doctor's desk for his opinion and further instruction. I quickly ran into the bathroom and did a pregnancy test before running over to see what he had to say. I placed the test down on the counter in our lab and went to my station. Once there, I saw my paper - you know, that one that had ruined my life - laying there with the words "Refer to IVF clinic" on it. There was that pit again. No trying on our own - no, nothing... just IVF? How could we afford that at this point in your lives? That glimmer of hope that I received while in Vegas was now officially gone again. I went on to work, shuffling patients around and answering phone calls. I couldn't think about it now, I had too much to do.

About an hour had passed when I stumbled onto that pregnancy test that I had forgot about in the lab. I hesitantly peered over it from afar to see the "minus" sign that I always saw every month and had decided that once I saw it, I would quickly throw it in the trash so no one would see my shame. But, in that very moment, on April 21, 1997, my life changed yet again. Where there had always been a minus sign, there was a beautiful and perfect plus sign. Pregnant? "No way", I thought. For a moment, I felt as though I was in a dream, but I wasn't. Only 5 days after being told that we would never conceive on our own and only 3 days after being "touched by an angel", I was indeed pregnant. God had performed His first visible miracle in my life. I was a mommy right at that very moment and with my legs shaking and mascara running down my face, I sat still in the presence of God, totally at peace... I was so very thankful for my perfect little surprise.

Those words from my hubby, "What do doctors know?!", rang through my head over and over. He was right. They knew nothing of what God could do even in a barren womb like mine. I was in love and in awe of this God I thought I knew before but had just now seemed to get to know on an intimate level. I had a new understanding of the word grace and I felt like I had had a glimpse into the heart of God. An Almighty God who would communicate with little ol' me even in the city of sin. A God who cared so much about my pain and the hurt I felt, that he graciously placed a precious miracle baby in my belly before I had even started down the road of infertility. What a God He is.

Jace Christian was born on a Wednesday - December 17th, 1997. Exactly 8 months to the day of that life-changing phone call. The doctors must have been wrong. We had delivered a perfect, olive skinned, brown eyed, red lipped little baby boy... what a miracle he was. We were OK and we had conceived on our own. I couldn't wait to have more! They must have made a mistake with those tests they ran because I was, at last, a mommy.