It has been a while. I have not blogged at all lately and I have to say that it is not because I have not wanted to or that God has not been working in my life but because I am working full time again outside of the home!! Whew, it is harder than I remember but then again, I do have two children now with busy social calendars! (:
I am working at the kid's school and I must say that I love it. It is so nice to work at a place where everyone loves the Lord and prays for one another. There is nothing better than arriving at work and being able to share Christ all day long with anyone and everyone you come into contact with. I am so blessed to have this job and I am so grateful to God.
God placed something on my hear the other day and I wanted to share it with all of you....
Long ago when I was in the throws of despair and depression and suffering with infertility, I was searching for wisdom and comfort in books that had been written by other ladies who were suffering with the same problems as me. There was one book that I read that had stories of ladies who were barren and unfortunately, they all remained barren throughout the book. No one ever got pregnant, no one ever had that positive pregnancy test; they all just found comfort and deliverance in God alone. Now at the time, I was not at all ready for that nor did I understand it. I was quite put out with this book and the fact that NO ONE had their prayer answered. Would I be just like them?
One particular story stayed with me about a lady who never had children but felt sure that God had a plan where she would mother someone, even if it weren't her own flesh and blood. Much later in her life, she began mentoring young ladies at her church and became a "mother-figure" to them all in a spiritual sense. She was so pleased after all of the years that she suffered with being barren, to finally be a mother to someone. I never "got it". I never understood how that could fulfill that very strong desire she had to be a mom. Oh I prayed, please Lord, I do not want that. I want my own child - not just "other people's children".
Thankfully, the Lord rescued me from my own sad and dark place by blessing me with another child but then allowed me to get pregnant all over again, just to lose that baby. I thought I would never recover. It felt like the final blow. How in the world could He deliver me again to a place where I could live fully without that precious baby? I felt like it wasn't possible.
But we all know the story... I am here and can say with all honesty that He has completely delivered me and healed me from the inside out. And just like that lady in the book that I read so many years ago, I feel as though He has blessed me with a multitude of children that are not even my own. Not only to I get to love on, mentor, and teach 14 three and four year olds two days a week, I have been blessed with a great group of kids in my son's 5th grade class that I have grown to know and love. I feel as though these children are my own in a way. God has taken me to a place where I now understand where that precious lady was coming from. These kids may not be my own flesh and blood but they are mine in Christ and He has graciously placed them in my life for a purpose all of His own. I am so thankful to have my own two children here, one up in Heaven and in the arms of Jesus, and more than 50 others at RRCA too. I could not be more blessed and I am forever thankful to God above for my most precious blessings.
If you are suffering as I did for so long - hang on, dear one. There is relief coming soon. It may be in the form of a child in your womb or by adoption, it may in the form of mentoring other children in the name of Christ, or it may be in the form of Christ Himself. In any way, you will NOT be disappointed. His plan is the best plan and you too will one day see it for yourself.
Just hang on....
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