Tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of baby Faith's going Home to see Jesus. I can not believe that it has been a full year since I started blogging "Our story". It has definitely been therapeutic in so many ways. I do feel free of the intense pain that I felt when I started this blog but there still a small empty place in my heart where Faith will always be. I wish desperately that I could have held her and celebrated her milestones just as I am doing with my other children now but I know that God had bigger and better plans for her by taking her Home. I pray that as I reflect on her little short life and all that has transpired since, I remember that God has been in control all along. Over the last year, He has renewed me and delivered me just as He did when I had Savannah. In that instance, He delivered me by giving her to me and answering prayer but in this instance, He delivered me merely by His presence, His word, and His love. I can't say that is one is better than the other because they are both from Him, but I can say that I have accepted His plan for me fully and do not plan on turning back.
Who knows what will happen from here. My 35th b-day came and went and I am still standing. I knew He would see me through. It was an incredibly emotional week but it passed and I know that was because of Him and His reminders of all that is good in my life. My future is totally in His hands and I would not have it any other way.
From here on out... I am not looking back unless He instructs me to. And I will take whatever He sends my way. Not because I am strong enough but strictly because I love Him more than anything.
Think of Faith tomorrow if you would. She is quite blessed - she has seen what none of us have. The eyes, the face, and the arms of Jesus.
Wow. What a precious and sweet thought.
